How Using Social Media Affects Teenagers.

How Using Social Media Affects Teenagers

Introduction

Many parents are concerned about the potential developmental effects of exposing their young ones to technology. We don't want hours spent bound to an iPad to slow the astonishing pace at which youngsters pick up new social and cognitive abilities. Too few of us, however, are focusing on how our teenagers' use of technology—much more intense and intimate than a 3-year-old playing with their father's iPhone—affects them during this equally critical time of rapid development. In fact, experts are concerned that texting and social networking, which have become so central to teen life, are raising anxiety and degrading self-worth. Young people claim that there may be valid reasons to be concerned. The Royal Society for Public Health surveyed 14- to 24-year-olds in the UK about the effects social media platforms had on their physical and mental well-being. According to the survey's outcomes, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, all contributed to rising anxiety, loneliness, and negative sentiments towards one's physique.

 Indirect Communication

Teenagers are experts at keeping themselves busy in the hours following school until well after it is time for bed. They are online and on their phones, messaging, sharing, trolling, scrolling, you name it, while they are not completing their schoolwork (and when they are). Teenagers naturally kept themselves occupied before everyone had an Instagram account, but they were more inclined to talk on the phone or in person while hanging out at the mall. Although it may have appeared to be a lot of aimless idleness, what they were actually doing was learning new skills, practicing them, and engaging in a tonne of little real-time interactions that kids today are missing out on. Teenagers nowadays are being taught, among other things, to communicate primarily through screens rather than with actual people. "As a species, we are very highly attuned to reading social cues," claims clinical psychologist Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD,. "There is no doubt that children lack extremely important social skills. In a manner, texting and internet communication put everyone in a nonverbal impaired situation where body language, facial expression, and even the simplest forms of voice replies are rendered invisible. It's not like it causes a nonverbal learning impairment.

Lowering The Risks

Clear communication is undoubtedly hindered by speaking unintentionally, but this is not the only problem. Growing up involves taking risks, and one of the most important parts of that is learning how to establish friends. This is true both for gaining new friends and for keeping existing ones. It takes guts to express your thoughts honestly and then listen to the other person when there are issues that need to be resolved, no matter how large or minor. Part of what makes friendship fun, fascinating, and dangerous is learning how to cross these bridges successfully. Dr. Steiner-Adair says, "Knowing how to express what you think and feel, even when you disagree with others or it feels emotionally risky, is part of healthy self-esteem." However, when youngsters form friendships online or through texts, they do it in a setting where many of the most private and perhaps intimidating components of communication are absent. Less is at risk when you text since it's simpler to remain vigilant. The impact of your comments on the other person is not something you can hear or see. Since the conversation isn't taking place in real-time, each party has more time to think about their response. It makes sense that children complain that talking on the phone is "too intense" since it needs more direct communication, which might be disturbing if you're not used to it. Suppose children don't spend enough time interacting with others and having their needs satisfied in real life. In that case, many of them will grow up to be adults who are afraid of talking, which is the basic form of communication for our species. Of course, when people age and start negotiating marriages and jobs, social negotiations become much more risky.

Cyberbullying And The Imposter Syndrome

Another significant risk associated with children speaking secretly is that being harsh has become a lot simpler. Children often email things that adults would never in a million years consider speaking to someone's face, according to clinical and developmental psychologist Donna Wick, EdD. She observes that this appears to be particularly true for girls, who often avoid debate in "real life." "You want to show children that they can disagree and yet keep the connection intact, but social media is teaching them to disagree in more extreme ways that actually damage the relationship. It is precisely what you do not want to take place she says. Dr. Steiner-Adair concurs that young women are particularly at risk. Girls in particular are socialized more to compare themselves to others to create their identities, which makes them more vulnerable to the adverse outcomes of this. She alerts that poor self-esteem is frequently to blame. We fail to recognize that relational aggressiveness is a result of self-hatred, insecurity, and the need to degrade others to feel better. For teenagers, peer approval is quite important. Many of them worry about their reputation just as much as politicians for public office, and it might seem just as important to them. In addition, kids today receive actual polling data on how much others like them or how they look via things like "likes." Anyone's head would turn at that. Who wouldn't want to improve their appearance if they could? Kids may thus spend hours modifying their virtual selves to provide a perfect image. Teenage girls agonize over which images to put online as they browse through hundreds of pictures. Boys stretch the boundaries as far as possible in the already liberal internet environment as they fight for attention by out-grossing one another. Children harass one another. 

Although teenagers have always done this, the rise of social media has presented them with more opportunities—and dangers—than before. The strain is only increased when children read through their feeds and see how wonderful everyone else appears to be. What happens when the kid next door is also photoshopped? We're used to worrying about the unrealistic aspirations that magazines' photoshopped models offer to our children. What happens when your personal profile doesn't accurately reflect the person you believe yourself to be on the inside? That is even more puzzling. "Adolescence and the early twenties in particular are the years in which you are acutely aware of the contrasts between who you appear to be and who you think you are," claims Dr. Wick. It resembles the 'imposter syndrome' in psychology. You start to realize that you are good at some things as you get older and gain more expertise, and you then feel that gap, ideally, diminish. But picture trying to appear so nice all the time and having your deepest, darkest fear be that you aren't as good as you look! It's exhausting. "Self-esteem comes from consolidating who you are," says Dr. Steiner-Adair. It will be more difficult to feel good about yourself the more identities you have and the more time you spend trying to be someone you're not.

Stalking (And Being Neglected)

We are never completely alone owing to new technology, notably smartphones, which has brought about yet another significant development. Children use applications that constantly update their location with their peers, share what they're watching, listening to, and reading, and change their status. A person is never too far away from a text message, even if they aren't actively attempting to keep their friends informed. Children have a hyperconnected sense of connection to others as a result. There is always something fresh happening, and the conversation never needs to end. "Whatever we think of the relationships maintained and, in some cases, initiated on social media, kids never get a break from them," observes Dr. Wick. "And that, by itself, has the potential to cause stress. Everyone requires a break from the pressures of intimacy and connection; alone time to refocus, refuel, and just chill. Without it, it's simple to experience emotional exhaustion, which creates an ideal environment for stress to flourish. Surprisingly, it's also simple to experience loneliness amid all that hyperconnection. Kids today, for one thing, are depressingly certain when they are being neglected. We all have phones and we all reply to things fairly rapidly, but silence may be deafening when you're waiting for an answer that never comes. The silent treatment might be an intentional insult or simply an unwelcome outcome of an instant but intense online adolescent relationship. Even if the conversation doesn't finish, waiting all the time might still make you anxious. individuals see that our own selves are being put on the back burner, and we also put others and our very human desire for communication there.

What should parents do?

Both of the experts who were consulted for the following article said that limiting one's personal technology use is the greatest thing parents can do to reduce the hazards that come with it. It is the responsibility of parents to teach appropriate computer use to their children. Most of us, either out of genuine curiosity or anxious habit, check our phones or our emails far too frequently. Children ought to get habituated to seeing our faces rather than our hunched-over screens. Create technology-free areas and times in the home when nobody uses their phones, not even your parents. Dr. Steiner-Adair counsels, "Don't walk in the door after work in the middle of a conversation." “Don’t walk in the door after work, say ‘hi’ quickly, and then ‘just check your email.’ Get up 30 minutes earlier than your children in the morning and check your email then. Till they go, give them your whole attention. Additionally, since it's a crucial time for communication, neither of you should be using a phone while driving to or from school. Limiting your time spent online not only delivers a healthy break from the tech-obsessed world but also fosters stronger parent-child relationships and increases children's sense of security. Children need to know that you are accessible to solve their issues, chat with them about their day, or provide them with a dose of reality.

Dr. Steiner-Adair cautions that "mini-moments of disconnection when parents are overly focused on their own devices and screens, are what dilutes the parent-child relationship." You might not like what occurs when youngsters start using the Internet to get answers or digest what happened throughout the day. Dr. Steiner-Adair observes that technology "can give your children more information than you can, and it doesn't have your values." It won't be attentive to your child's personality and won't provide a developmentally appropriate response to his query. Dr. Wick further suggests postponing the age of initial usage as much as feasible. "I give the same advice about getting as far as you can without anything as I do when I talk about kids and alcohol here." Dr. Wick advises that if your child is on Facebook, you should friend her and keep an eye on her profile. But she cautions against doing so unless there is a valid reason to be concerned. "Okay, if you have a solid cause to be concerned, but it must be a genuine one. I observe parents who are blatantly spying on their children. The first step for parents should be to trust their kids. Relationships are severely harmed when parents refuse to even give their children the benefit of the doubt. You need to believe that your parents are proud of the nice kid you are. Offline, getting youngsters involved in something they enjoy is the best advice for assisting them in developing a strong sense of self-worth. It might be anything that captures their curiosity and boosts their confidence, such as sports, music, repairing computers, or volunteering. Kids are happier and more equipped for success in real life when they learn to feel good about what they can do rather than how they appear and what they own. The fact that many of these activities also require face-to-face interaction with peers is the icing on the cake.

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